Artitecture

Jean Paul Sartre said, "Everything is art" but what the heck did he know anyway? After taking this tour, you will at last be qualified to judge and create timeless artistic masterpieces. Mystified by Matisse? Puzzled by Picasso? No more! The Art Tour will take your raw material and craft you into an expert worthy of standing in front of modern art and frowning in an intellectual way. You will feel comfortable in a beret, and that is a guarantee! This downtown route takes you past all of Chicago's great artistic masterpieces. Some you may have seen; others will be completely new.

Meeting Point: Pritzker Park on the northwest corner of State Street and Van Buren Street

Giants and Aliens

Is The Bean a shiny alien artifact that controls time and space? Was Soldier Field originally created as a coliseum for human slaves to fight to the death for alien amusement? Was downtown Chicago simply a forgotten elaborate diorama constructed by Giants? We may never know the true answer to these questions, however you can take this tour that focuses on various conspiracy theories related to Chicago... or can you?

Meeting Point: The Bean in Millenium Park

Superheroes and Villains

Join our city's preeminent superheroes as they take a break fighting crime to give you a guided tour of the city they love to protect! Marvel at the various locations they fought The Windy City Werewolf and Kaptain Killbot! Wonder as the dynamic duo reveal to you secret lairs hidden around Chicago! These do-gooders are always looking for a few good sidekicks!

Meeting Point: The Bean in Millenium Park

Tasty Treats and Fancy Foods

Learn the origins of some of Chicago's most tasty famous foods! Why Chicago hot dogs don't have any ketchup on them due to the great ketchup shortage of 1918? How deep dish pizza was created as a secret government weapon in the forgotten pizza wars of 1875? Whatever happened to the kangaroo kabobs that helped put this great city on the map? All these delicious questions will be revealed and more!

Meeting Point: The Bean in Millenium Park

That's Up To You

This tour will start with suggestions from the audience, and will evolve from there to give you a custom made history of the city. More fun than the real history and more unique than riding a dragon that shoots anti-matter!

Meeting Point: The Bean in Millenium Park

Vikings!!!

Everyone knows that Vikings founded Chicago after crossing Lake Michigan from The Forbidden Wasteland (now referred to as Canada), but how did these bearded axe-wielding psychopaths lend a hand in shaping our beloved Windy City? This tour focuses on the history of our drunken Viking forefathers as we visit their old fortress The Bean, along with famous battlefields such as The Stock Exchange!

Meeting Point: The Bean in Millenium Park